Always Chasing

Sometimes I feel as though life is moving quietly along without me and that scares me a bit; however, sometimes I can’t seem to get things to slow down around me and I feel like I am chasing the merry go round trying to get on but I can’t catch it.

Today I had a lot of difficulty keeping things together; my thoughts, my list of things I wanted to do. Some days are just like that. I can’t remember what I was doing, or where I put that sheet of paper or why I walked into this particular room. What was I doing? Here’s a good example, I went out front to water the pots on our front porch, there are only two, but they are new and need care. Instead, I end up yanking out a plant that I have hated since we moved here. My husband and I agreed we would replace them, but for some reason, I had to yank that one today. There are four more and they are very difficult to remove, so it’s best that I leave the rest for him. That little excursion of mine messed with my equilibrium and my back.

I must say, this day has ended up fine. I did get some things done and I feel as though, in my little world, I accomplished a small bit anyway.

Now I need to try and focus, something I have a terrible time with. In all honesty, I’m worn out, I’ve overdone it again and it’s time for me to just “veg” out. I don’t sleep well, so although I tell my dog it’s “Nappy Time”, it really is just time to lay down and just stop everything for a little while.

Each day, I hope for a “normal” day but I realize my normal is not what it used to be. I really do prefer those in between days. I think we all do. Of course, maybe there aren’t very many people who come apart as easily as I seem to these days. I find myself needing to find a steady wall, something to keep me on my feet and centered more times than I like to admit.

Have a great end to your day; thank you for being my wall today.

Peace out.

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