Moving in any direction, other than backwards, is a good thing. The difficult part is letting the past go without pain or hurt. Sometimes the act of moving, is an accomplishment in itself. Trying to move forward is the very best option for us all.

Today is all about love, or at least it should be. Lovers sharing special moments, parents surprising their children with a sweet treat and hugs. Families sharing love for one another that comes from a place of shared history and special memories. What happens when those shared memories and that history is replaced with trust that has been shattered. The loss of a loved one can obliterate those left behind. Although it has been a couple of years now, the reverberation of pain and hurt within my family is still leaving me feeling sick to my stomach.

Sometimes our load becomes lighter and is no fault of our own. The only safe and healthy option left is to sever ties of having someone in your inner circle. Not cutting them out completely, but keeping them at arms distance. We all know that we should always try to mend things with family, I mean it is family for heavens sake. Why is it so hard to move forward in matters of the heart? Why is our heart so durable one minute and so fragile the next. One person will hold your heart so gently and another with stomp on it without thought.

I forgive and move forward and believe that I have put the pain behind me; then a text will come through or an occasion will be ignored and that wound cracks open again. I want to keep trying because the loss is so great. Does the love outweigh the pain? Is it possible to get past such a divide when both parties believe they were wronged? I can’t say. All I know is that I am so sick and tired of trying and having that hurt bubble up again and again.

Moving. It’s something I have to continue thinking about and weighing. Which direction will I choose? Life can be so difficult. It was such a good day until it wasn’t. I am so grateful to meditation because it has helped me deal with and mend many things, but it isn’t magic. The magic is inside us and apparently I need more introspection.

I still plan on having a great Valentine’s Day with my family and I hope you do too. I can’t let this get me down; people depend on me and love me without conditions. As it should be.