I’m too young to feel this old. I find myself saying that a lot these days. Even with the addition of yoga to my daily life. It’s hard to not feel well every single day. Today was the first day since I started doing yoga that I could not even practice 20 minutes. I’m feeling very selfish today; I want to tell everyone “I don’t feel well, I am in pain today”.

When you suffer from an autoimmune disease it is almost understood that you keep your pain to yourself. If not, people will not want to be around you. I get it. Someone who is not feeling well, who is suffering is a huge drain on people around them. So, we try to keep it to ourselves, even though loved ones ask you every day, “how are you?” They don’t mean it, no one does. No one wants to hear you whine about your daily problems.

Well today, I just need to be selfish. So I skipped my yoga and I’m going to try and get myself out of this funk. I will not go on and on about me; but, I will spend this day not ignoring how I feel. Today may include a really good cry and moments of reflection on what else can be done.

That’s it. I just needed to say it out loud. I am in pain today and am unable to show my strong face to the world. There is no façade up today and there will not be until I have to turn myself back on before my husband gets home. I don’t want to pretend everything is fine today.

I do hope, if your reading this, that you don’t feel sorry for me; I can do that all on my own today.

Signing off.