Although my “epiphany” is helping me understand things better, letting go of a person or relationship is the hardest part. I realize that I am able to forgive, but forgetting is difficult and painful.
Old memories of good times, happy moments are what I have left and I will keep those tucked away. Although the moments of pain and disillusionment don’t seem to be fading; I’m hopeful they will grow dimmer soon enough.
Time, as they say, heals all wounds. Well, I’m hanging on to that possibility for dear life. It is amazing how much better I feel these days. I’m learning to keep my ego out of reactions in conversations. Where normally, I was pretty snarky with my comments. I never meant them to be malicious, but sarcasm isn’t always well received or understood. Now, I listen to my response in my head first and ask myself, is this going to hurt this person? The last thing I want to do is to chip away at someone with passive aggressive behavior, so really examining how we respond in certain situations is so important. Whether it is my husband or a grocery clerk; everyone deserves respect and love.
It’s painful for me that I have to move on from some people who, at one time, meant the world to me. It’s difficult to realize that you are better off without the negativity, or false emotions. I have always had a hard time with people who pretend to be something they are not; or who say they love you and show you differently by their words and actions. I don’t need that. I am working to let it go, but I am having difficulty with that. Forgiving, that’s one thing, forgetting is another altogether. My mind wont let me brush it away.
I am trying to learn more, do more and observe more. The most important thing to me now is to be kind in everything I do. To take that extra moment to say something that will brighten someone else’s day. To give what I can as much as possible. I believe that the difference I make in one person’s life is more important than anything else right now. Especially with how our world spinning out of control. Everyone needs to stop and realize that we are supposed to be here to help each other. That is the whole point of this exercise called life; how we treat each other matters more than you know.
Be good to each other.