Help!

Howdy everyone! Busy last couple of weeks and I really haven’t had a second to sit down and think about things that are going on in my small, little world. I am going to give it a try today; if I can unravel through it all.

Still haven’t gotten the MRI on my knee; but, I do have one scheduled for roughly 9 days from now. I’ve really been consumed with taking care of my mom. She is almost 89 and is still spry as hell with all of her wits about her; however, she has been having problems lately, falling, not eating, low blood pressure, etc. We have been to the hospital a number of times due to falls and now it is dehydrataion and difficulty eating. It is so difficult when you feel like the parent of your parent. It’s not the role I want and I know she certainly doesn’t want it either.

I am the youngest of four daughters. Our father passed away in April of 1999. Probably the most difficult time for all of us. Now, dealing with our mother’s health, in this way is going to be a challenge for us all. Two sisters are out of state and the other has health issues and is not able to make the long drive as often as she would like. I am the closest, so I have been doing my best to take everyone’s place at the hospital, the rehabilitation center, and at her home. It can be very dificult when you are trying to do this and continue to take care of yourself; which I am trying to do.

I had a bit of a meltdown this weekend and I didn’t care much for my reaction to my sisters help. Let me tell you, steriods are bad enough, but add few cocktails and it is a so much worse. I shouldn’t have been drinking at all; however, I needed that neighborhood party more than even I realized. Meeting new people, talking with current neighbors and friends, pool, food and just being out of my house having some fun. I could not tell you the last time I had that much fun.

I need to accept the help that is being offered. When I used to work, it I was the same way; I would take everything on and not delegate anything. I feel as though I need to do everything so I can ensure it will be done right and how I envision it. That can also lead to something getting lost by the wayside and hard feelings. We all need to allow some help into your lives. I will probably continue being that way with my cooking, or planting or even decorating … Sometimes I am uncompromising … another work in progress.

Be good; peace out!

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