I’m Here and I’m Tired

Ever feel as though you give and give without anyone really acknowledging you or noticing what you do, or even giving you grief when you ask for a little help? I sure do. It’s been one of those days for me where I just feel like throwing my arms up and yelling, “stop walking all over me, it’s killing my spirit.” I’m tired and I don’t feel as though I should have to point out what I do to everyone.

Maybe, that’s just me, but I’m tired and I’m nearing the top of my 50’s, so it isn’t as if what I do on a daily basis is a surprise to anyone. My grown children can see what I do; the one who lives with us sees what I do. Does he notice? Sometimes. Does he help? I have to ask for help, and no, not always. This child believes that he does not have to do anything. He knows everything and he believes I need to request his help in an appropriate manner. Well, I wasn’t raised that way and I didn’t raise him that way, so his attitude about helping can catch me off guard when he’s in a mood. Which he was this morning. Which ruined my day as you can see since I’m still stewing about it.

I used to be really great at juggling; maybe I am losing my touch in that department. It seems as though these days, I’m losing my touch with too many things and feeling as though I’m going to blow much quicker than normal. Is it all from aging? Hell, I know I should have at least 20 good years ahead of me. It can’t all start breaking down now. Maybe it’s just my attitude I need to adjust? For example, not giving a damn when things are falling apart around me. Let them fall, let everyone else pick up the pieces if they “feel like it”, while I do what I can and move on. I’m coming to the realization that this may be my only salvation.

I guess my goal for the remainder of this day (once I’m done at my daughters’ house), is to go home and see what happened to “George” the opossum we saved (story for another day), then prep for Taco Tuesday dinner with the family (which basically means, make guacamole), then relax, have a mini meltdown or just veg out for a while. Once this day is over, there will be another one (thank you Lord), and I hope it turns out better than today did.

Peace out.

S.

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