Well, the new year is here. Came in with a whimper, but it’s here. The first day of the year alone usually gets people examining the things they do in their lives that probably aren’t the best things for them. I’m no different. There are a number of things that I do need to tackle right away, I just hate doing it and calling it a resolution. So, I have no resolutions, I have hopeful changes to make.

First of all weight. Everyone has this issue at one time or another and I am struggling these days. I’ve been on Steriods for a couple of months and my dosing is almost completed; however, I feel like it has really affected my weight. Of course, I quit smoking the day after Thanksgiving and I do bake like a demon during the holidays, so it really is the perfect storm of weight gain. The first thing to go is the holiday candy. I asked my husband to remove it from the house, because if I know he has hidden it, I will rip this house apart in a moment of weakness. Not a joke. Little steps on sweets, I love Yasso yogurt bars, so I will still have one of those as my nighttime snack.

Second would be all around health. With Lupus and my other physical issues, getting exercise is difficult at best because I am unable to stick to a routine. I used to love walking, up and down hills, timing myself; oh I miss that so much. Now, when I do it, I end up hurting my knees and only being able to do it for a few days a week and it kicks my ass. I am trying yoga again, it’s not pretty, but it’s easier on my body. I am hoping that getting some core strength will help me in the long run and maybe allow me to strength walk again.

Also in the realm of health, I need to do something about my eating habits. I usually have a healthy breakfast of yogurt and berries and a healthy dinner with the family each night. Lunch is an issue for me because the middle of the day is usually when I struggle with exhaustion and joint, muscle and/or headache pain. Carbs are my friend because I can grab a bag of pretzels and lay in bed. I used to eat a sleeve of Ritz crackers and have a diet coke for lunch. Not a great building block for a healthy body. This will be hard for me, but if I want to get healthier I think this is a must.

One of the most important hopeful goals I have is to stop giving in on everything. To stop pushing what I feel or want down so that everyone is happy. I need to make sure I haven’t completely disappeared over my 56 years of life (almost 57). It happens you know. You want to keep the peace, so you give in and just sweep how you feel under the rug. Than you end up 57 (almost) and wondering, what’s my favorite color, what kind of home style do I like, what kind of pet do I want, what kind of car have I always wanted. I can’t answer these questions for myself. I am so confused and that’s pretty f’ing sad.

Lastly, I’m going to drink more! Yes, drink more. Enjoy a glass of wine or a glass of whiskey if I want to. I think it’s time to reacquaint myself with Suzy. Wish me luck won’t you.